Still waiting...

It's 3 days since my housemate got engaged, and while I'm pleased for her, I'm also quite envious that after only 2 months, she's got what I've been waiting for since Christmas. But, as a wise lady said to me, people will be more pleased with my betrothal because they've all been waiting for it too! She, on the other hand, is having to deal with the comments about how quickly it's all happened and the disapproving looks.

I'm trying ever so hard to be patient. I know it will be soon - he's told me it will be, but it's so much harder to wait when I'm seeing her organising her wedding already. Be patient and trust God. That's all I can do. I hate not being in control and having no say about things that concern me. Arrgh!

Exhilaration

Dear Laura
I am writing to inform you that you have been awarded a GTP place with the University of Southampton in partnership with your school.

That's right folks, I got in! All the stressing and worrying and hard work have paid off and they want to let me be a teacher. I am excited.

God is good!

I thought maybe I didn't really want to be a teacher after all, but I do, I really do. It was the old don't get excited and you can't get disappointed routine. And now I know I can do it. It will be hard, I know it will, but clearly teaching is a part of God's plans for me and He will help me through it.

Huzzah!

And in other news - I managed the whole day at school today, though I still feel rubbish. And housegroup tonight. Which means that I need to go and read the passage we're studying. Mark 8:31 - 10:52 if anyone wants to follow.

Missed me?

I have returned. It's almost 4 and a half years since I last wrote on here. And I've missed it.

So, a basic summary of my life since September 2004:
- My best friend became a Christian.
- I went on holiday to Ireland.
- I worked for a year at Christ Church, doing Student work, Youth work, a Day Centre, admin and general dogsbodying.
- I went to Berlin with my family.
- I got a job as an LSA in a Secondary school.
- I went to Cornwall.
- Another of my best friends became a Christian.
- I was a bridesmaid for Eli and Don.
- I got turned down for a GTP.
- I taught a bit of Drama at school.
- I went on holiday to Paris with Emily.
- I found myself a wonderful boyfriend who adores me and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
- I have been teaching 2 English lessons a week.
- I've had interviews for the GTP at Southampton uni and now I'm waiting to find out if they want me.
- I've had the last 2 and a half days off work because of a horrid stomach bug.

There we have it. Feel better now?

World of Sven

Aha, World of Sven, a very funny blog I was introduced to by a good friend of mine. Well, it makes me laugh. Especially the Dear Pat letters. Don't read this if you have no sense of humour though - you might get mad!

And Sven, if you ever read this - I like your blog :)

The Prodigal Returns

Hello!!!!!!
I'm back!!!!
I got lost a while, in the confusion and busyness of the real world, but now I have returned to you my precious.
Am I welcome? Or must I do penance? I promise I shall make every effort to write at least every other day.
Forgive me.
Please?

Thank you :)

So, what have I been up to?
Interesting question.
I'm a grown-up now. Supposedly. I have a real job in any case which pays me real money so for the first time since I started uni in 2001 I don't have to worry about the necessity of starving to death.

I got a 2:1 in my degree. But I already told you that. Sorry - I'm getting old and losing my memory. Or perhaps it's all the time I spend with the old folk at the Day Centre. We're going on a day trip on Thursday - I'll tell you all about it when we get back. I hope I get to buddy Margaret. She's Scottish and lovely. I love old people. Not like that!!!

I suppose I ought to do some work now. I have to write 2 talks and I haven't done talks before so I have to work hard. Nearly lunch time though. Hurrah!

I'll check in again soon :)

Long time no post!!!

Wow, I am useless. I've been back from Soul in the City for over a week now and I haven't posted. Throw things at me, go on...

Ow, not sharp pointy things!!!

Nothing that exciting has happened though so I can be forgiven.

Soul in the City was really good. I enjoyed my project which was cooking for the kids who came to clubs at a church. Cooking for 75 everyday!!! Wow, tiring but good fun. And God really sorted some stuff with me which was tough, but so needed. And He gave me some reassurance over my plans for the future.

7 days to go till my birthday :)

Camping

I've not had any lighter thoughts. Hmmm, makes it difficult to write anything that won't depress you. I've got a case of the middle of the summer holiday blues I think. Missing my friends, bored of home, no job, feeling unappreciated no matter how hard I try. Sigh.

Well, Soul in the City starts Sunday. That'll be good. Six nights camping. Woohoo. (Did you hear the note of sarcasm?) Too many people in too small a space, not enough toilets or showers to go around. Sounds like home! It's not like I want a marquee, but I like my space. 3-man tents only house 2 'men' comfortably, and when that 'man' is a girl, well, we like to spread out. We have a lot of stuff. I mean, my make up bag alone, wooh, it needs a tent of its own! That's a lie. I don't wear that much make up :)

Honesty

So, I just watched a programme called Super Nanny on tv this evening. It's all about how this woman who's been a nanny for 15 years helps families with badly behaved children. Quite good - I'm trying to train myself in preparation for when I have children. (Yes, I know, I have to find myself a man first and train him to marry me...) But one thing struck me. The dad of this little boy told him that if he told a lie he would never ever be trusted ever again. Wow! What if that was really really true? Man, I'd not be trustworthy. And I don't think there is anyone in the world who can ever be trusted. It's a bit of a worrying thought. I like to believe people until they give me reason not to. Ok, maybe I'm a little too trusting - I like to see their better nature. But some people have abused that trust in the part. Strange thing is though, even though I ought to not believe them, I still like to hope they've changed.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like lies. I hate them actually. I can cope with a lot and put up with some dreadful stuff, but I can'tstand it when people lie to me or about me. It just makes me so angry. And it's even worse when it's your friends. Ok, so I tell the old "I'm fine, just a bit tired" fibs and the "no, it's really nice" ones too, but I really really hate big lies. And friends not telling you stuff and making up excuses about it, that gets my goat too. Especially people who ought to be really good friends, but don't consider you important enough to tell stuff to.

Wooh, all a bit heavy there. Sorry. I'll try to have light thoughts for the next few days :)

Woohoo!!!

I got a 2:1!!! Very very happy. :) So know, I can officially put BA Hons after my name - a 2:1 degree in Drama with honours. I am proud.

Weather

St Swithin’s Day, if it does rain
Full forty days, it will remain
St Swithin’s Day, if it be fair
For forty days, t'will rain no more.

Yesterday was St Swithin's day. And it didn't rain. In my opinion that made it a 'fair' day. Don't you agree? And yet today it's raining, buckets. So the rhyme's wrong. And I don't have anything else to talk about so I'm resorting to the old talking about the weather thing!

Ramblings

Went to London the other day and had a nice jaunt around the National Gallery. The reason behind going to London was that mum needed to get to Westminster but she doesn't like going on the tube. I was designated carer for the day - taking her on the tube, getting her to Westminster Abbey and then collecting her again and taking her home, via Covent Garden. Poor dear. I had a nice afternoon though, met a friend, had coffee, lunch and cultured him in the National. Of course, as in all good stories, this resulted in me waiting for him to leave as opposed to having to drag him around. You can understand my surprise at this, as beforehand my suggestion of the National Gallery as a good, free attraction, was not greeted with great enthusiasm. And then I had to explain the beauty of Van Gogh's paintings. But when I was getting tired, we had to look at "just one more," and go to the shop. Mission accomplished - one more soul saved from the dangers of being uncultured :)
Have sold 6 books on Amazon now which is quite good - a little sum of money will soon be transferred into my bank account and then I shall be able to afford my phone bill. Always nice.
I've been in touch with the girl I'm living with in September, and she's lovely, so that's a load off my mind.
Nothing much happening at this end of the blog - helping mum out with job applications and so forth, but nothing interesting for me. Ooh, except Soul in the City in less than 2 weeks now. Can't wait...

A Thought

Even Little Miss Voldemort can get a boyfriend!!! And I'm still on the shelf. Various friends disbelieve this allegation - we only have her word for it - and that's via msn.

But it makes you think. Can I blame my singleness on the way I look? Because I think I'm quite an interesting, kind, funny, lovely person - maybe I'm not modest, maybe I'm misguided. So, if I lost weight and became attractive and then got a boyfriend, I'd always have the feeling that it was because of the way I look rather than who I am. And if I remained single then I'd be convinced there was something wrong with my personality. So the best thing would for my single status to change very soon so I can be absolutely certain someone loves me for who I am inside not for what I look like on the outside. Hmmm....

Exciting

I had nits. Yes, that's right. And it was exciting. Well, to be honest it wasn't. It was, however, the most exciting thing to have happened to me or my ex-housemates in the past week and a half. I win.

The Evil landlords are planning on charging us for the cleaning of the oven! I know, I can't believe it either. The oven was the one thing that was cleaned a number of times over the 2 years we lived in that house. We even cleaned it EVERY day for a week before we left. Jennie's mum said it was clean. She also cleaned it when we first moved in which means the Evil landlords didn't make sure it was clean for us. Hmm, suspicious. Nic and her dad worked out that they get about a quarter of a million pounds in rent from all the house they own. A quarter of a million!!! Unbelievable. And they still want to steal from our deposit. Surely they must have black black hearts.

Mother

My mother is out for a fight today!!! Everything leads to her shouting! And having a go at me. I have to zone out - it's way easier.

"Mhm."
"Yes, mum."
"I know."
"Ok."
"Yep."

All that and I have no idea what she's talking about. Probably asking me to empty the bin or clean the house or something.

She is a woman of extreme reactions. She said earlier that the untidiness of the house makes her feel suicidal. I said she was being a bit stupid. But then she started wittering on about Paul McCartney and The Wings and how they make her feel sick. I mean, really, she can't be normal. Can she?

It's official - we are living in a State of Emergency after Anna and I came to blows last night. At least that is how mum described it. I call it being shouted at and being shoved by a stroppy 16 year old and then retaliating. Something I wouldn't have done if I wasn't so darned PMT-ey! Well, mum phoned the housing blokey this morning and told him that we need a bigger house and soon. We've been on the list for a while, but they are hopeless. But the idea of sisters coming to blows because they are sharing a box room as a bedroom, thus proving that the house is too small for 6 people, shocked the man and he put us straight on the Emergency Council Housing list. And good job him, I say.

I am slowly going mad here. In fact, my sanity levels have become so low that I must resort to using sanity sparingly. I laughed hysterically for 10 minutes this morning in an attempt to save a little. Mum told me I was sick in the head. However, she is the one who was asked in a shop today if she was alright because she was clearly having a bit of a mental moment.

Just watched Emma - the one with skinny little Gwyneth Paltrow. She is pretty faced though. A rather lovely film, though I've never been able to get much further than half way through the book on my three previous attempts - and believe me, I did try. I was a little concerned to recognise one of my own friendships in the friendship between the dashing and jolly lovely Mr Knightley and our beautiful heroine Emma. But it is a work of fiction, so nothing to worry about.

I have discovered the joys of selling my books on Amazon. What jolly good fun. For an hour's work inputting my books onto the website I have already been rewarded with around £10 for two of my books have been purchased. And then the money gets put straight into my bank account - including a large amount for postage which doesn't all get used up. How wonderfully delicious.

Must go - I get to sleep in the bed tonight as Anna is out at her year 11 prom and will sleep on the settee when she gets back. She looked stunning, of course, but then she always does, doesn't she. Ooh, can you hear the bitterness and the envy? Really must work on that. Or perhaps I should work on trying to look less like a hobbit when in the presence of my beautiful siblings....

Good night.

Bored

I swear, if my mum tells me one more time that she's a Cambridge Graduate now, then I shall kill her!!! It was funny the first few times, now it's bugging me. And I have 2 months of it. Hahahahaha. Sorry, lapsed into hysterical laughter there. I'm not the only one. All the friends I've spoken to are going through the same thing. We're all too old to be at home now, but our parents are still treating us like kids. Hohum.

Spent the day in the house alone today, which has been lovely. Listened to the music I wanted to listen to, pottered around, didn't get shouted at. All wonderful. The job hunt must begin soon though. I need some money.

And now I'm sounding boring. As soon as something interesting happens I'll let you know.

Long Time, No Post!!!

I realy am hopeless, aren't I! I'm at home now. My housemates walked me to the train station yesterday morning and the girls sang beautifully to me from the platform. "I've been to Paradise, but I've never been to me..." It was truly lovely, and I cried, because I shall miss them all so very very much. My room was spotless when I left, walls scrubbed, windows cleaned, and the floor hoovered several times. We spent the entire day on Wednesday cleaning the house (except for the hour when I did the hangover run to McDonalds for the girls after their big night out at the Porthouse on Tuesday!) so we had better get the entirety of our damn deposit back from our landlords or I will be so angry.

Well, mum graduated today. Fancy that, my mum, a Cambridge graduate. We had a rather enjoyable day watching her process in then a beautiful buffet lunch at Fitzwilliam College. Saw Grandma and Granddad, Aunty Janice and the girls, Aunty Liz and Karen. All lovely.

Home's already grating on my nerves. And I still have 2 months here. Ohhh!!! I HAVE to get a job. I have to. Or I'll go mad, and I'll have no money.

End of an Era

Last day of term. We have a week left in our house, but lots of my friends are off for the summer today and tomorrow. I'm never very good with summer holidays - too long, too many people in our too tiny house, no-one replying to my emails etc. Dad's coming to pick up all my stuff this evening when I'm out so I'll come home to an empty room. However, in order for him to be able to take all my stuff I shall have to pack it up. Woops, not quite at that point yet. Shall have to hope that God lends a hand... With Him, nothing is impossible!!!! Not even packing up 2 years' worth of rubbish!

Ducks

There were only 10 ducklings yesterday!!!!

Last Week

Cried on Monday at the Graduate BBQ and I'm coming back next year - how deranged is that?! Saw Angie though, and that was cool.

In a funny mood on Tuesday, so I snapped at Andy, whinged at Steve and stayed out for most of the day - it was easier than going home and having to try to explain why I was miserable.

Didn't really do anything for the rest of the week. Was still grumpy on Wednesday. Thursday was better. Friday, the weather was getting me down. It's just too darn hot. Had a nice chat with Andy in the canteen. Didn't meet with Amy because she had other things to do. Went to see the ducks with Clare. There are 13 ducklings there, so sadly quite a few have disappeared. Fell asleep so didn't go to the pub with Jo in the evening. Wish I had, but hey, what can you do?!

Saturday was strange - the house all went to Bournemouth for the uni ball, but I would rather gouge my own eyes out than do that sort of thing, so I stayed home alone. Ryan, Will and Andy came round for dinner in the evening. I cooked lasagne, and it was my best one yet. Their attempt at pudding was sweet, but strange - bizarre Smarties cookies things - look like plasticine. Fortunately I had some ice creams in the freezer. They washed up, so I had to forgive them for watching the football, and for taking photos on Ryan's phone of Andy's bum, and trying to show me. I thought I'd go blind!!! And then I stupidly left the room and forgot to take my phone with me, so I came back to a terrible sight on my own mobile!!! Scarred for life.

Church was brilliant on Sunday - I will miss the worship at Vineyard next year, but God has His plans for me, and I won't argue. And then Chris' Baptism in the evening. Wonderful. I love Baptisms - they're so exciting. Afterwards was Chrissie's surprise party - I was in charge of the BBQ, what with the football causing a severe lack of men. I was pretty good at it though, even if I do say so myself. But what joy, England lost against France - it is only right - I am far from being unpatriotic, but I really hope that we lose all our games and then the stupid football would be over. I hate it - people become so antisocial. It's the same with Big Brother, except churches aren't finishing early for that. I was highly annoyed - Ewan at the Baptist Church where Chris got baptised didn't even finish his sermon!!! He didn't want people to miss the match. How rude is that? Personally, I'd have thought God was just a bit more important - I hope He understands. Not that I'm a brilliantly holy person either. Really need to get some stuff sorted with God - like old wounds that keep being opened and need healing rather than ignoring.

Had Beautiful Time with Beth on Monday. That was really lovely as I haven't seen her properly for ages. Had a good chat and talked properly. Lovely. Then went to the pub in the evening for a nice drink and a chat. Jo and Andy talked quite civilly to each other - brilliant!